Comfortable

I have an old pair of jeans that I keep. They are my favorite. I’ll never wear them again-couldn’t even of I wanted to.

I’ve outgrown them. They don’t fit. But that doesn’t mean I don’t wish I could slip back into them. I wish they still fit. I really wish that they did. But they don’t…

I can’t get rid of them. Keeping them is like holding onto the past. Letting them go would be like throwing away memories that I am not ready to get rid of. Not yet.

Someday I’ll have to. Someday I’ll have to pack them away and say goodbye. I’ll have to forget they ever fit. I’ll have to forget that I ever wore them. Someday.

There is something to be said for those old t-shirts and jeans that we all have. Those items that matter how worn or faded they become we still wear them. We wear them to feel comforted, if we are lucky enough to be able to fit in them. When they don’t fit we tuck then back into the back corner of a closet and forget about them until we need to be comforted.

The jeans represent good times, fun times, times when I was carefree and naive. I wore those jeans when I thought the world was mine to conquer. I know slipping into those jeans wouldn’t make me young, naive or slender again. I know. But sometimes I sure would like to try. I would like to go back to times that were easier and simple. Times when those jeans, a simple white t-shirt and some little white keds were all I needed. That’s what made me comfortable-would still make me comfortable-if only they still fit.

It’s the jeans and the t-shirts that have been worn for years that become favorites. It’s the ones that fit where you curve, that are soft and worn from years of use. The ones that fall right into place the second you slip them on-no matter how long it’s been since you last wore them. Those are the ones that become favorites.

I wish I could slip into those jeans and cuddle in that baby soft burgundy shirt and just be…be comfortable. But, they don’t fit anymore.

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