Wa Wa Waaaaa Girl

I am a Warrior Woman!  Have this newfound motivation.  I am no longer thinking, ‘I can’t’ but am starting to think, ‘How can I?’  Let me tell you that is a MAJOR mindset shift.  Major.  Doing my best to continue with my non-resolution of not dwelling on the negative but finding the positive.  Again, huge paradigm shift.  Huge.  If I can’t go for a walk for some reason then I hunker down and do what I can inside.  I don’t love veggies but I determined to make a go of this healthier me business so I am eating more salads, consciously adding more fruits.  I hate water but I am downing 18-64 ozs a day.  If I can’t manage uninterrupted exercise time I do my best to squeeze in small squirts of weight lifting or leg lifts or SOMETHING.  Big change for me.  Overall I have been pretty proud of myself.  Proud that I am seizing the opportunity, proud that I am doing something instead of only thinking about doing it and proud that I am pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

Somewhere, someone must have decided I was a little too proud of  myself.

Started this Warrior transformation by getting on the scale.  A womans gotta know what she’s dealing with, right?  Gulp.  Saw THE NUMBER.  Plugged that number into the healthy weight data base.  Saw that MY NUMBER was above THE NUMBER that they wanted me to be at.  Fought back the panic.  Did the math.  Calculated that my magic number was WAY higher than my mental state could comprehend.  I mean realistically I knew I had to drop double digits.  But seeing the actual double digits was a total mental mind….well,  you get the idea.  Deep breath.  Urged myself to quit freaking out and broke THE number down to a smaller number.  When I divided it by 7 and divided that by the number of weeks until the Warrior event it didn’t seem so bad.  Yes I used creative math-much the way I do with my checkbook-however, this magic math worked.  I had a number I could live with.

So with this MUCH SMALLER number in mind I set out to train.  2 mile walks, 10 pound weights, water…I was in the groove…in the zone.  I was doing this

A week goes by.  Yesterday was weigh in day.  I almost skipped to the scale.  I feel lighter.  My clothes feel droopier.  I’ve put in the time, I’ve done the job.  I almost chuckle as a step onto the scale.

The reality hits.  Hard.

The number I see is actually HIGHER then the number I started with.  I glance down.  I’ve got on red boots.  Those have to weigh like a pound EACH, right.  I deduct that weight from the number I see.  IT IS STILL HIGHER!

Guess that pride thing went a little too far, huh.  Somewhere, someone is teaching me a lesson.

I don’t feel like a WARRIOR woman now.  More like a wa-wa-waaaaa-girl.  😦



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