I am convinced every mother has a herding instinct. We give birth and suddenly our bodies are equipped with sonar, GPS and heightend senses. As our children get older they develop counter intuitive measures to go against our herding instincts. “It’s part of life”, “your job is to monitor them, their job is to evade you”, “it’s the cycle of life” and “it was the same when you were a child”…yadayadayada. I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it.
This summer has gone against my natural herding instinct. Bad. I had to turn loose of my 12 year old to allow him to go to church camp IN ANOTHER STATE this summer. My older daughter has been at the beach WITHOUT me for a week. In June she will be home a total of 10 days. That’s it. Even my baby girl spend a long weekend with her grandparents–away from me. At one point I had 3 children in 3 locations. At one point the 5 of us were in 3 different states. My herding instincts went haywire. I hate this. I want them to have experiences but I want them to have them with ME. This is the first summer that I really am struggling with the whole working mom versus summer mom syndrome. I see moms at the pool, hear of moms skirting off to the beach, see moms taking kiddos to 1/2 day camps and such. I am jealous. Old fashioned green-with-envy. (Mind you…I know how lucky I am to have a job. I am grateful each and every day.) I suppose I know that at 12, 9, and 2 the carefree summer days aren’t going to last forever. Camps, trips, experiences…my little ones summer days are full. Sigh. I am happy. Really. At some point, in JULY, surely we will be all in the same place at the same time. Secretly I am happy that they start school early August. I hate to admit that I miss the routine. I miss knowing where they are at every minute of the day. Sad isn’t it.
3 diff children doing 3 different things in 3 different locations.