Helpless

There, but for the Grace of God, go I.

My heart is heavy.  There is so much burdening so many people around me.   A song on the radio sings, ‘we are all just one phone call from our knees’.  Never does that seem truer then in these days.   I am scared.  Scared that it will happen to me.  Then I feel immense guilt because I am scared.  I struggle with how to help, what to do, how to make it better.  At the end of the day all I know how to do is to be thankful for what I have.  To work hard.  To try and not take anything for granted and to be mindful that others around me are struggling.  It’s not enough, I know, but I feel powerless, helpless.

There, but for the Grace of God, go I.

I want to write and write and write about lost jobs, lost income, houses being worth less then we are paying, groceries going up, education going down, political ads that infuriate me, the senselessness of pointing fingers and placing blame….I want to rant and rave about the lack of common sense, the absurdity of spending money that isn’t there…I want to beg for help for everyone who needs it but who do I beg?  I want to make a difference but I am one, small, that can only speak based on emotion.  

There, but for the Grace of God, go I. 

The days are full of so much uncertainty.  Every second brings the threat of that one phone call taht brings us to our knees.  Living in fear of that ‘phone call’ robs the days of all their possibilities.  Finding an a+ moment, even in a D day…guess that is my challenge in these days. My heart hurts for so many.  I can’t help if I am cowering in worry, fear and panic, can I?

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