A whole new meaning to the phrase, “I spent all weekend in the bathroom.”
My latest obsession: re-doing my room in soothing, calm colors. I’ve been frantically pinning ideas on Pintrest. I’ve been itching to start the project but have been de-railed my little things such as car accidents, birthdays and such. This weekend was to be the big transformation.
1st hitch in the plan: builder’s surplus sale a.k.a yard sale for building projects/Phil’s idea of hell. There I saw some tile. On sale. I had to have it. Now tile was in no part of PROJECT BEDROOM re-do BUT…it was on sale. Cheap. Phil, like a trooper, went along with my sudden switch in plans. 8:30a Saturday morning (gasp for those of you who know me) I was the proud owner of a box of tile.
2nd hitch: We’ve never, ever laid tile. Luckily Home Depot was holding a tile class that started the very minute we got there on Saturday morning. SWEEEEET. I chased and tried to corral a sugared-high (thanks to 3 Krispy Kreme donuts) 2 year old in the concrete aisles while my dear, patient hubby sat thru a “how to tile your tile project” class. Was that divine intervention or what? Hitch 2 was no longer a hitch after an hour in a metal folding chair.
3rd hitch: We didn’t know this was a hitch until much later in the day. Color. Do you know how many shades/hues of blue and green there are? Thousands. Thousands. Turns out I am not well versed in tones and shades.
4th hitch: We started the day with PROJECT BEDROOM RE-DO and were suddenly on PROJECT BATHROOM due to a box of tile from a yard sale. Switching gears so drastically is normally not done so easily with my hubby but he managed this well. Sorta.
5th hitch: Tile up. It’s okay. Eyeing the bathroom I realize that no re-do is going to look right with that dark brown vanity. Must start there. Keep in mind, it’s a relatively new vanity and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it other then the fact that I don’t like it up against my new tile. I buy primer, a galloon of paint, and 2 sample jars of paint, tape, brushes and an edger. Prime the cabinets and then sigh, start the wait. My husband is insisting I let it dry before I paint. I am not so good at waiting.
6th hitch: FINALLY. It’s mostly dry. I am ready to paint. Now…which color? Light blue that we bought or light green that mom found on an OPPS shelf? Decisions, decisions. A dab on the wall here, a dab on the cabinet there. I can’t make up my mind!! Seriously. I panic. I break out into a sweat. What to do? What to do? Logic prevails. Phil suggests the blue. I pop open the can. Dip my brush and slap a whoosh on the vanity door before I chicken out. Ugh. Looks a little dull. Hmmm…another swoosh. Yep, still dull. Do I stop? Oh no. Convinced that it will dry lighter, brighter or that it just needs a second coat I forge on. Get the entire double vanity coated along with the main bathroom wall. Step back and ….ugh….still not right. Paintbrush in hand I head out to the kitchen and proceed to slap a coat of paint on everything I can find: armoire drawers, frames, and shelves. I am a painting fool. At one point Phil even told the kids not to be still because he was afraid I would paint them. I paint and paint and paint until I circle back around to the bathroom, which by now should be dry. In a flourish I throw open the door and wait to be delighted.
7th hitch: Shopping for towels/rugs/décor that makes me LIKE the color of the bathroom (does this segue clue you in as to my reaction of the color) I begin to realize that this is NOT the right color. As I hold up the paint swatch to every single item in the store I realize that I am not even in the right color family. In tears I buy something that I like and something that will match. They are not the same thing. I make my way home.
8th hitch: Holding up ‘this will do’ and ‘this I like” to Phil only to have him shake his head. “We don’t have to settle. If it’s not right we need to re-do it.” By this time it’s 9p on Saturday. I hate re-doing. Passionately. It’s like backtracking.
9th hitch: Sunday morning and I still hate the color. Back to the home improvement store. NASA built the mars rover in less time and anguish then it takes us to try and get the right blue/green colors. This time Phil insists we buy color samples. Nauseous about re-doing, I come up with a brilliant solution. Crackle. I’ll paint OVER the mistake and create a new look.
10th hitch: Put crackle paint on every surface I painted yesterday. Wait the required hour. I am giddy now. Shabby-chic here I come without having to totally re-do.
While waiting I move on the closet. Not a good idea.
11th hitch: Hour is up so I abandon the closet and re-start the painting project. OMG. Crackle paint doesn’t work. I now have the biggest mess you can imagine. Cabinets are globby, closet is in shambles, and bedroom is a disaster and the kitchen table in covered in unfinished painting projects that have all been coated in the crackle crap. This time I do cry.
12th hitch: Patient hubby begins stripping the vanity. He sends be back to the Home Improvement store for more stripping liquids. Not because he needed a SECOND gallon but because he needed my weepy eyes and dejected spirit out of the way. While there I go ahead and buy the next gallon of paint—why waste a trip, right?
13th hitch: It is Sunday evening. We have nothing to show for an ENTIRE weekend of work. I am determined this bathroom WILL be painted. Kids left to fend for themselves we begin to paint. Frantically.
14th hitch: Frantic painting means fast painting and fast painting means mess. A lot of mess. I am hoping we can get the paint drops out of the tub and off the floor. As for the ceiling…well…it’s not that noticeable.
15th: Phil has to run an errand. He thinks we are at a stopping point with a few of the accent walls nicely covered in the new blue. While is out I eye the roller, the non-empty paint can and the remaining walls.
16th hitch: Phil comes home to what he thinks is a near-ended project to find me covered in paint eyeing the one remaining large wall. Uh-oh.
17th hitch: The temper tantrum didn’t last that long. Neither did the cussing. The tense atmosphere lingered a little longer. BUT…all the walls are painted.
18th hitch: 8p on Sunday night. Out of paint. Out of time. Slap some nachos on plates for the kids and send them to the den to eat because the kitchen table is still full of painted frames, shelves and drawers in the wrong color. Avoid eye contact with Phil who I am sure is totally exasperated at this point.
19th hitch: Bedroom closet is in the bedroom. Can’t really see the bed. Bathroom décor is on the kitchen table. Bathroom accessories (toothpaste, glasses, deodorant) are in a tote. That tote is…somewhere? Sunday get-ready-for-the week rituals such as laying out clothes, hair washing and grocery shopping—yeah, NOT DONE. And it’s 10p on Sunday.
To quote my husband (in the G version). “Good times.”