Water cooler talk revolved around what plans you had for the weekend. And you did have plans. There was always some sort of plan. You crammed as much into the 48 ‘free’ hours as you possibly could. The plan might be as simple as sleeping as long as you wanted. It might have been a road trip. A night out on the town. Restaurant food. Heels or short skirts at a minimum. Remember those days?
Today someone asked what I was doing this weekend. I know the look of bewilderment on my face must have been confusing. There was this long, awkward pause. I had to say something! “Uh…” brilliant start. “Um….” It gets better and better. “Ahhh…” by this time the person asking probably wanted to shout-“I don’t really care—it was just a polite conversation” but of course they couldn’t say that because I had already start speaking/stammering. At that point it is downright rude to say, “Never mind. I don’t really care.” Instead they waited uncomfortably on me to answer. Tried to jazz up my REAL plans. Nothing. Zip. Nada. Oh the pressure. Finally I just blurted out the truth in one great big run on sentence. “I have to bury-a-rabbit-have-a-garage-sale-that-I-am-not-ready-for-finish-kindermarket-the-house-is-a-disaster-and-the-laudry-is-out-of-control-Sunday-is-usually-grocery-day-and-I-am-trying-to-use-coupons-so-I’ll-probably-spend-Saturday-doing-that-if-the-garage-sale-is-over-oh-and-the-wrecked-car-should-be-ready-so-we-have-to-go-to-Car-Max-because-insurance-isn’t-giving-us-accurate-value-and-so-yeah-that-is-about-it. How about YOU?”
By this point I am breathless. The person asking the question is glossy eyed and slack jawed. I don’t know if it’s my lack of plans or my vomiting delivery of the real plans that has them most appalled. They answer, “Nothing.”
Why didn’t I just say that?