The courage in Shrugging

It is what it is and it will be what it will be.

I’ve been repeating this in my head today—over and over and over again.

It is what it is

. It is no more complicated then that. Period. Getting frustrated, angry, hurt, irritable or incredulous will do no good. Why is it so hard to let go and let things be what they are going to be? Why do we keep fighting and scratching and clawing to make things be something other then what they will be.

The first time I heard this phrase I sort of humphred and dismissed it.

It is what it is

was too vague and didn’t hold much meaning. It was sort of the cop-out-phrase. To me it was like shrugging your shoulders when the world offered you a…a…well an anything. Shrugging of one’s shoulders isn’t action. It’s not fixing a wrong or making something right. Shrugging is giving up, giving in and giving away power. Shrugging instead of doing is just cowardly..or so I thought.

At some point when something hurtful and beyond my control occurred I had 2 options: fight a fight I would never, could never win or shrug and say, “it is what it is.” The later option took more courage and more strength then ranting and screaming and making a fuss. It did. The fighting took more energy but it was more wasted energy. The shrug took courage. The shrug meant meeting something devastating head on and saying, “you won’t win.”

Learning to say and to believe ‘it is what it is’ is hard. It’s against my INTENSE nature. It’s a struggle. My nature is to try and right the wrongs and to expose faults. I try to work harder and be better and do more. But, in truth, that is not always the best way. When I am successful in saying and believing that it is what it is and it will be what its going to be’ I can actually be better, be more and have more focus on things I can control.

So today was a struggle to accept, “it is what it is and it’s going to be what it’s going to be.” I blustered and grumbled and tried very hard to make what it is into something I could control but I wasted the day away because…it is what it is and it’s going to be what it’s going to be.

If only I could remember this...

If only I could remember this…

There is another quote I just recently started to find comfort in, “Sometimes courage is not a roar, it’s a whisper at the end of the day saying I’ll try again tomorrow.”

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3 thoughts on “The courage in Shrugging

  1. Since my first bout with true powerlessness the idea that “It all works out the way it should” is core to how I approach the world. It isn’t easy. It isn’t easy to say the first time. And it sure as hell is never easy to believe – because we don’t say it when we order a pizza, or take a shower, we save these phrases and ideas for when it is hard and it hurts.

    Warm thoughts, to you, my friend.

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