Hungry

I am hungry. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally.

Day 5 of Weight Watchers. I’ve been a) proud if myself for digging in b) pleased with the amount of food I can eat c) HUNGRY! As a carb addict all this colorful, healthy food has me feeling empty and STARVING. I also feel hopeful that I can make this work. Even my little ones have gotten into the spirit of things. Around dinner time you can here voices asking, “How many points for….” Or “Mom, you’ve got 12 points left. Good job.” In explaining this to them I’ve get to use the F word….you know…f-a-t. See “She thinks I am beautiful” as to why that is. I’ve explained that I am dying to get into my sassy orange pants and that this way of eating was going to help me do that. My daughter understands sassy so she’s thrown herself into helping me. I am being careful to keep my motivation positive and not mope and whine about weight.

Too bad there aren’t “points” to help with emotional “weight”. I could use one help tracking stressors and would appreciate some articles on overcoming emotional woes. Seems I am HUNGRY for some emotional connections about as much as I am for carbs. It’s super easy to hear my grumbling tummy in the silence.

Our magical, awesome summer of accomplishments is fading into the start of the new school year. I am sad. This summer was character building and confidence boosting experience after experience after experience….I was lucky enough to get to be there every step of the way. Now, their adventures will happen without me. 5th and 8th grade. Independence building years. This summer brought us together. This school year will take them away from me. It’s the way of things.

Did I mention I was hungry?! I have 4 points left for today. Should I use 2 for a yogurt? Decisions, decisions.

Our busy home life is colliding head on with the project-from-hell at work. It’s been a long time since I woke up every hour, on the hour, worrying about what has to be done and if I can do what needs to be done. Being hungry, sad and stressed all at the same time makes each emotion feel even worse. Pre Weight Watchers stress=comfort food. Accomplishments=treats. Uh…there aren’t enough points to cover the bowl of white rice I could take on right now. (White rice IS a comfort food and a treat for me.) Munching on raw carrots because they have 0 points just doesn’t scream, “YAY Me!” at the end of a 50 hour project.

Oh, and if that isn’t enough, this is the last week I am 42. I don’t feel like 42 is going out with a BANG. Instead-it feels like its whimpering to a close. I am hungry for one thing that makes 42 feel like I’ve accomplished something.

Being hungry-any type of hungry-isn’t easy. Being all kinds of hungry at the same time…well that just stinks.

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