I shouldn’t laugh…Really, I shouldn’t
Our family errand day was going quite well. Everyone scored books at the book sale. Then there was the unexpected treat of meeting a former UGA and NFL player, Boss Bailey. Followed immediately by a quick game of Plinko where we won enough gift cards to pay for Kinsley’s new softball glove. Colton bartered his gift card for lunch out.
I shouldn’t be laughing.
The restaurant was bubbling with teens. Turns out there had been a Cross Country jamboree that morning and all the high school athletes had converged to Barberito’s. Colton spoke to several girls as we stood in line. We ate. We left.
I have to stop laughing.
Heading out of the restaurant I spot a gaggle of girls across the parking lot. They are 30 or so feet away. We are walking one way and they are walking at a diagonally toward the restaurant we just vacated. So when I spot them we are side by side. I spy the middle school logo and say, “Colton-there are some of your middle school girls….” He whips around to look. Now they are a little behind us.
Really—I have to stop laughing.
He’s ogling the girls in their track shorts. OGG-AH-LING. They spy him and are looking at him. They have to turn their heads a little to the right. He has to turn his almost all the way around–which he is doing. I am looking at them looking at him when I hear, “DOOOIIIINNNNGGGGG.”
I have to stop laughing so loudly and hysterically.
I turn to see Colton flattened against the steel pole holding up a Handicapped parking sign. The top of the sign is vibrating with the intensity of the collision. I hear a chorus of, “oh my god, oh my god…is he okay? Is he is okay Is he okay” The mothers of the group gasp and cover their mouths. One turns like she’s going to make our way toward us.
Colton disengages himself from the embrace of the pole. I don’t help matters at all. I am laughing. Hysterically. Bent over double, hands on my knees and cackling in abandon. 10 feet in front of us Phil is doing the same. Tears of streaming down my face as a I laugh and laugh and laugh. Colton stumbles backwards managing to throw up a hand and say, “I am good. Fine. I’m fine.” I am still laughing. I can’t catch my breath at this point. He stands there nodding with a cocky little smile and waves the girls on. They continue on their way.
The second they are out of sight Colton sags against the building. I am laughing. Still. Phil calls out, “Which hurts worse man, your head or your pride?” To which Colton slowly shakes his head. Disagreeing with us or to try to right the scrambled brain he received from slamming into that pole…I am not sure. I am STILL laughing. Loudly.
He mumbles, “Mom,” another head shake, “those were POPULAR girls!” I try to stop laughing. I really do. Then he adds, “Now I know how Aunt Jenny felt,” which makes me guffaw all over again. There is a family story involving my sister, a football sized field of snow and a single flagpole. That story also involves the sound DOOOIIINNNNGGG.
I really should stop laughing. I really, really should.