“Don’t worry mama we got this.”
You climbed the stairs of Stegman Coliseum in your little blue blazer, khakis and a pink tie. When you asked, “may I have this dance?” My heart almost burst with joy. All the other moms were making their way, sans sons, to the dance floor for the Mother-son dance at the Perfectly Polished recital. They were a bit envious of me and my chivalrous son. You were on the dance floor when they announced that it was time foe the annual last dance. With purpose you climbed 2 sets of stadium seats to come to me. Be. Still. My. Heart.
When we got to the floor I really was nervous. I am not a dancer. I sort of fretted a bit in that way that I do but you, little you, grabbed my hands and solemnly said, “Don’t worry Mama. We got this.” To this day I tear up at the memory. You were so sincere, so protective and oh-so-precious. It was a glimpse of the man you were becoming and it was glorious. As long as I live that will be one of the sweetest and most cherished memories I have.
You…my little fella…my handsome little man …you promised me that day that “we” had this. And we did. You lead me through the dance . You guided me step-by-step. You smiled brightly when I did it right and you told me it was okay when I faltered a bit. My eyes were down, nervously watching my feet. Later I saw a picture of that moment and your eyes were looking up at me. You were worried about me and wanted me to know you were there for me.
You held my hands and we danced.
Colton, “we got this”. You and I. It’s just a dance…all that you are facing right now. I know the steps, at least some of them, and if you trust me I’ll teach them to you. I’ll smile brightly and praise you loudly when you do it right and I’ll assure you that it’s okay when you falter. All the trauma if being 14 feels like I felt on that dance floor. You feel exposed, under prepared and a little fearful. You feel ill prepared and a little scared. You feel watched and judged and insecure. I know.
“We got this.” I trusted you. I let you lead and you led me to one of the best moments of my life. It’s your turn now. Trust me a bit. Let’s take it step-by-step until you are comfortable and confident and able to dance through life on your own. You might not get every step right. That’s okay. You might stumble once or twice but that’s okay too. After a bit, after some practice and some encouragement…just like you gave to me…you will find yourself dancing without worrying about every single step. It’s now how the dance starts baby boy, it’s how it ends. Your dance has just started. And I’ll be right there, holding your hand, teaching and guiding every step of the way.
“We got this Colton.”