I am not a glass ½ full sort of person. I am more of an, “OMG the glass is almost empty and I am still thirsty and there is nothing else to drink so now I have to run to the store after work but before softball to get something to drink!”
It’s not my nature to ‘look on the bright side’. I am more of a “it’s dark so say it’s dark and quit giving me BS about it being bright!”
“When God closes a door, he opens a window” doesn’t really work for me either. I tend to think, “that’s great but I can’t FIT thru a window!”
My friends describe me as INTENSE. Everything I do is OUT LOUD. I wear my heart on my sleeve, my emotions on my face and my temper in mouth. I don’t back down from drama and eventually I rise to a challenge…after I worry and stress about the situation for a bit. I don’t sugar coat things, I call a spade a spade and am no Molly McSunshine.
That’s why, despite:
Facing the biggest challenge of my life.
Things are as dark as they’ve ever been.
The ‘door’ didn’t just shut—it SLAMMED.
I am not at rock bottom. That is what surprises me. Despite myself I am surrounded by people who -well-who Love me. And it surprises me.
Love and support come in the most amazing ways:
• 2 boxes of granola bars from a friend who knew I wasn’t getting lunch these days.
• The re-cycling of a card I gave to someone long ago that spoke enthusiastically about change.
• Fierce-vocal and un-apologetic loyalty.
• Parents who haven’t judged-they’ve simply said, “what can we do?”
• Kids who are bravely making the most of a bad situation.
• A son who has declared himself ‘man of the house’ and is doing his best to take care of all of us.
• A daughter who, without being asked, takes her baby sister out to play or snuggles in with her at night.
• A reminder that my intensity, my passion and my bravado aren’t always bad. For my birthday my friends gave me a jar with 52 things they love about me. One reads I love that Libby loves out loud. Today I needed a boost so I went to my trusty jar. I feel safer, braver and stronger because Libby is on my side, read the words on the slip of paper.
• It’s friends who say—I am not asking, I am just going to DO.
• It’s softball moms that make me laugh and send me late night text reminding me that it’s going to be okay.
• It’s a boss who takes off her boss hat to nod in understanding, pray for me when I can’t and who says—you first—this work—it will get done. A boss who not only says it but means it.
• It’s exactly the right words and exactly the right time.
• The hugs in the middle of a day from a friend who made time in her busy schedule just to give it.
• My saving grace has been the loans without judgment, without blame and without guilt.
• It’s friends who tell me to shut up when I start blaming myself.
• It’s a group of friends rallying together to make me laugh.
•Love and support come from strangers like my new friend Jane. She didn’t know me but her hug and her spunk certainly made me feel protected
• It’s the acknowledgement, “Yep, this sucks.” No sugar coating it-no trying to pretend-just straight up admitting that it sucks. Sometimes that’s exactly what you need to hear.
•Love is an unexpected “scholarship” for my aqua babies from and Aunt and Uncle.
•Support is little messages from new family and old friends.
•Love is fresh picked strawberries and sidewalk picnics.
•Love is parents driving twice as far as they had to in order to follow me home.
I am surrounded by good, solid people who are rallying around me and my babies to show that love and kindness aren’t lost. I am no Molly McSunshine but with so much goodness surrounded me I am starting to believe that everything just might be alright. Someday.