For all I’ve done wrong-and I’ve done a lot wrong-there are parts of today that tell me I’ve done something’s right.
It was a different Mother’s Day. I started the day realizing I had hurt another mother by not taking appropriate care of her daughter, who I really love. It was unintentional but that isn’t the point.
In the middle of apologizing my sweet girl brought me breakfast in bed. It was simple and sweet and allowed me to believe that despite my mistake from the day before I had done something right to receive such a thoughtful start to my day. A cookie butter and banana sandwich was the sweetest meal ever made.
But then I called my mom and felt like a pitiful daughter for not being there.
Amid my texts of apologies to my friend and my wishes of Happy Mother’s Day to my mom I got a text of my own.
It’s been tough, always has for us. We get all the(excuse my language) shit. Somehow we always manage to stay strong, to stay ok. I’m writing this because its Mother’s Day. There is no other mom stronger than you. No one who can deal with three crazy chillens. Being older i try to set a good example, most the time I can’t. But when I’m around you I try to be the best I can be. My handwritings not that good so I thought writing a heart felt text would be easier. Mom, your my backboard, you are my blinders, your my protecter, most importantly my mom. I love you mom. ~always have, always will~ ❤
I had let him down in some ways but here he was telling me that I had also done something’s right for him.
Before the day even started I was lucky enough to get the most amazing card from my aunt Debbie, someone I’ve always admired and respected. She had kind words and once again came to my rescue. I got myself here but she-as always-was trying to help me make something right of this series of wrongs.
I spent today, not with my mom who very graciously understood, but with a friend, a mother, who, like me, is starting over. We moved her out of an old life and into a new one.
Her mother stayed with my daughter and helped her create all sort of goodies for the 5th grade fair hair booth that I am in charge of. My spunky daughter bonded with my friends spunky mother over conversations of art and life and gold boots. They talked of colors and creating and brothers. To have friends like these I must have done something right.
Another friend made sure my daughter had a generous card to give me today. For them to love her so much that they went to so much trouble for me gave me hope I had done something right.
Today my car air conditioning quit working and I faced the fact that the life I am about to give my children is far less then what I had ever hoped to give them. My wrong decisions were costing then so much.
But then I got this card…with a note that have me hope that I might be turning this hard lesson into an important life lesson for my girl. She asked her dad to buy a gift card to Home Depot so we could buy paint for our new house. She was making the most of something horrible and I want to believe that I somehow has a little to do with that.
My Mother’s Day was different this year. Some pears were heart wrenching while others were heart warming. I cried. A lot. But today a few of them were happy tears.
In the midst of all my wrongs there were reminders that I’ve also done a few things right.