My friend Nicole is like the DJ of our little band of misfits. She’s always got an anthem-a song to punctuate the moment. I love to hear about what she’s fist pumpin’ to after a day that screams for rock-n-roll. She gives references to 80’s songs, heart pumping-girl-power rock songs, Disney tunes-whatever the moment calls for.

Until recently I never really thought of my life in songs. Sure-during a “oldies” play list I would be taken back to senior prom or remember a clogging routine but only for brief snippets and then the real world would intervene and the memory would fade and I would be humming along or tapping on the steering wheel without a thought to the lyrics.

Lately songs have just popped up at the oddest times. Songs I haven’t heard in a long, long time would suddenly ring in my ears and the memory’s would flow. “…cool, cool water…” A song I played so much that my little ones knew every word and would belt it out from the backseat and I would smile-every time.

“First time ever I saw your face,” was playing in the new X MEN movie. It was unexpected to hear that song in that place and it took me several moments to recover. Luckily movie theaters are dark.

The Zac Brown bands song “Highway 20 ride” has a whole new emotional impact these days. I used to just sing along because I loved the tune and loved that Highway 20-the real highway 20 used to take me somewhere that made me happy. What highway 20 represents now isn’t happy. It’s the same players but an oh so different set of emotions.
what would I do without your smart mouth-drawing me on and then kicking me out croons the singer during a Song played at least 100 times a day. love your curves and all your edges. That song feels like something that would have been an appropriate anthem when me was part of a we. But now hearing you give me all of you and I’ll give you all of me makes me lonely for something I’ll never have.

The southern phrase come heaven or high water was uttered the other day. I am sure the look on my face bewildered the speaker who couldn’t have possibly known that hearing that phrase took me back and made me re-see something that I once thought was the most special and thoughtful gesture. I didn’t know the words were foreshadowing events yet to come or hinting at circumstances I didn’t know existed.

Fridays are my bad days. I was down and cranky and sad and mad and just downright broken hearted today. The lyrics to “Stupid Boy” by Keith Urban came out of nowhere. I laughed at first. Silly and sophomoric but it felt nice for a minute. I was tan, trimmer than before and my shorts made me feel cute. “Stupid Boy,” I muttered under my breath and for a few moments the day didn’t weigh so heavily on me. Then I remembered the rest of the chorus…”She laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice
and I quit laughing. It was my anthem if the moment. And I cried.

The tunes catch my attention but it’s the lyrics that haunt me these days. Words strung together that explain how you feel or why you feel what you feel in ways you would never be able to articulate. Words-simple words-everyday words that succinctly cause you to feel-happy or sad.

Someday maybe the songs that pop into my head will make me want to run an extra mile, shake my booty or take on the world. Not today. Maybe soon I can go back to singing along and seat dancing.


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