It’s 2am and I am writing this from my phone. Expect typos.
Without waa-waaing I will only say it’s been another one of those weeks from hell. Lots of tears and frustrations. Enough of that though. This blog is about something else.
It’s about my girlfriends hugging and turning my frown upside down. Again. It’s about more than one incredible woman offering, in her own way, help.
I got practical advice from a smart woman going through the same thing. She made me eat. Outside. And the whole time she talked to me she had her hand on my arm. I needed all 4: food, her conversation, the sunshine and the contact. She knew I wouldn’t hear “you aren’t alone in this” at that moment so she damn well made sure I physically had a connection to remind me. And it worked. That was my worst day but that encounter changed the course.
Another amazing friend came by twice and found me in the parking lot with a way of helping that I willtry. Wednesdays at noon may offer me some insight. She made sure I had information on help and she made sure the pages of help has a little extra help for me. Vague I know but she’ll know.
Another popped in and listened…really listened and didn’t get irritated when I got mascara, makeup and tears all over her shirt. Only real friends let you ugly cry on their work clothes. And she didn’t placate me with empty words. She said, “YOU ARE OKAY” not “it’s okay”. She admitted “This sucks but it will get better.” She gave me permission to feel what I was feeling. “It’s okay to mourn the little things or the things” and illustrated her point with a simple story of a touching wedding that although perfect wasn’t what, at one time, she thought/wanted the wedding to be and she felt guilty being sad about it. Until later when she got permissionand affirmation that it was okay to mourn the lack of one dream without negating the importance of the real event. (I think I just made a mess in trying to verbalize the message. Well heck cause it was a GREAT lesson.) That’s the gist of the moment. I got what she was telling me a whole lot better than I am explaining.
One more friend unexpectedly popped in and didn’t lick my forehead. no typo there. Gotta love a friend that is so desperate to help that she’s willing to so something so random, unexpected and weird that it would have totally changed the headspace (her term). The bizarre action would have stopped the tsunami of thoughts and emotions. Thank goodness she took one look at my face and knew that a hug and a celebratebag would do the trick. And it did.
This blog was meant to be about something else but I had to get those thank you’s out.
This amazingly quirky bunch did something for me last year that keeps giving and giving and giving. That’s what this is about. I might be better at staying on track if it weren’t 2am. The morning after my 3:45a start. Or maybe not. Geez Libby-
Back to the point. For my birthday last year I got a jar. With instructions to believe that what was inside was true. Inside the jar were 52 typed reasons why they loved me. And I had to believe them.
This week I had to dip on the jar twice. Twice I pulled out a slip of paper that served as a virtual hug, a virtual pick-me-up and a very real reminder that out there are woman who love me and all that I am. As I am.
The message above was the one I pulled out-while suffering a severe bout of fear and insecurity. Perfect timing with the perfect words. That’s my girls!
I am not feeling very lovable. They remind me that I am lovable and that I am worth being loved.
I don’t feel strong or capable at the moment but in my jar are reminders that they don’t see me as anything less than strong and capable. And these are incredible strong capable straight talking women. They know what strong looks and acts like.
I worry I am not friend material-there are 52 slips of paper that were created to remind me that I am wrong-and in this case I don’t mind being wrong.
The jar has been mentioned before but it’s so important to me that I had to mention it again. It’s the perfect gift that keeps giving and giving and giving.
Once I snuck a peak at several of them-an expresso of affirmation if you will-and was so touched that I folded the slips back up and put them back so I could re-read them in times of need. Never imagined the time of need would look like THIS but hey—
When my jar is empty I am going to take all of them, mat them, frame them and predominantly display them on my happy wall. Front and center.
A simple jar. White slips of paper and simple types words. Priceless. Reminders that You’ve got THIS and we’ve got YOU!