A letter to get you started

Dear babies-
Get over it-you’ll always be my babies.

Here it is-the start of something new for each of you. These are big steps you are taking. I’ve done all I could to arm you for battle.

First impressions matter and in middle school and high school first impressions are made based on what you are wearing. It’s not fair but it’s a fact. You chose your armor and I feel really good about that. I feel good that you got to make your own choices. I hope you feel good about it as well. I also hope you brush your teeth more. Nothing ruins “hot” or “pretty” like scuzzy teeth.

You aren’t what you wear. I want you to know that. I acknowledge that it matters but I don’t want it to be all that you base your worth on. I also hope I’ve given you confidence to face these new endeavors. You are all beautiful-inside and out. I hope I’ve told you that enough. You tell me that I am and I love that. Feel free to keep that up.

You are smart-each in your own way. I hope I’ve told you that enough. Don’t be afraid to be smart. At some point in the next few years being smart looks like a flaw. It’s not a flaw. It’s a strength. Don’t be afraid to admit you don’t know either. You should learn something new each day and not just from WTF facts or YouTube.

Always be authentic. I really, really hope I’ve instilled that on you. Who you are is perfect. I adore who you are. Don’t let anyone change you. You are never going to be happy if you aren’t true to who you are. Not everyone will like you. And you know what-that is okay. It’s hard to understand that in middle school and high school, I know. You’ll just have to trust me.

Don’t count your worth by the number of likes on Instagram or the number of friends on Facebook. Those aren’t the things that matter. Count your worth by the people who trust you, the people who love you and the people that love who you are. It’s better to have a few really good friends then 100 false friends.

You are going to be faced with so many decisions. Always make the one you you believe is right-even if that isn’t the easiest or the fastest. Always make the same decision you would make on front of an adult. Always make the decision that you won’t be afraid to tell me. It won’t always be easy. Deciding or telling me. You are libel to get my crazy eyes a time or two. If you believe you are doing what’s right then don’t be afraid. (If you are up to no good be very, very afraid.) Doing the right thing is hard sometimes. It’s those tough decisions that will build your character. Its the hard times that make you strong.

Learn the difference between want vs need. Learn it early. Don’t be afraid to fight for what you need and don’t be afraid to work hard for what you want. This is also something I hope I’ve taught you. It’s a hard, hard lesson to learn. I am still working on it.

Don’t compare yourself to others. You are you. Things don’t make a person. Technology is cool but it’s also a responsibility. You get freedom as you earn freedom. It’s my job to protect you and to guide you. You won’t always like me for that and you know what that’s okay. In fact-if you are mad at me it means I am probably doing things right. I’ll tell you a secret-my decisions are hard and sometimes I have to make tough calls. It’s not always easy. But it’s my job and you are the most important job I will ever have. The pay stinks but the perks make it all worthwhile.

I love you with all that I am. You are the best things that ever happened to me. You give me purpose. I am proud to be your mom. Whatever you face please remember that. You are loved. Deeply.

I will keep you as safe as I can. I will provide as much security as I can. I hope having a stable place to call home will give you the courage to fly. I want that for you. I want you to soar. I want to always be your tether so that you aren’t afraid to aim high and far. Too cheesy?

I’ll stop all the cheesy talk and will give you some real life advice:

Keep cash in the book bag for emergencies.
Don’t put anything online that you wouldn’t say or do with me on the room.
Be nice to one another and you will always have someone on your corner and on your side. Brothers and sister annoy one another but they also protect one another.
Enjoy every moment. It doesn’t feel like it now but this time will fly by. Don’t miss the fun parts because of parts that aren’t so nice.
Be nice to everyone regardless of their popularity status. Better yet, don’t think in terms of popularity. I understand that is easy for me to say.
Don’t rush growing up. Take your time because with each new freedom there is responsibility. Be sure you are ready for any consequences before you take any action.
Learnt to study a little every day.
Eat better!
Hug your mom more (I had to get that in.)
Unplug sometimes. Unplug a lot actually and keep reminding me to so the same.
Participate on your school. Be active, be a part of it-you’ll enjoy the whole experience more if you do.

Do great and be great this year.
Love,
Mom

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One thought on “A letter to get you started

  1. This is pretty amazing. Excellent advice and so well written…not preachy or patronizing at all. You are right about dressing to impress in middle school, but trying not to get too caught up in it all. I’m a middle school teacher and unfortunately those things matter, at least at first. Feeling fantastic helps kids focus on paying attention in class, making friends, and other good stuff. You seem to have your act together, mama!!

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