I am 10 gallons of crazy in a 5 gallon bucket. Admittedly. And it’s never more evident than around Halloween. What started as a good mommy idea has turned into something else entirely.
For $9.99 you can have a Halloween costume. Kids can be anything they want…a princess, a cat, mickey mouse, that chick from Frozen, a witch or anything else imaginable. One trip to the store and VIOLA! The child is happy, the mom marks a ‘to-do’ item off the list and all is well. I KNOW THIS. She wants to be a Princess. I know this too. We could go to Party City and pick from any number of plastic, cheap Princess costumes. I know this.
Is that what I do? Oh no. Instead I take the bat&*^% crazy route and make costumes. I don’t know why I think this is necessary. I don’t know why I always think, “I can do that” when in reality, I can’t. Someday I must invest in therapy to figure out this absurd obsession with the HOMEMADE HALLOWEEN. But not right now…I am too busy making a list of items I need for THE HOMEMADE HALLOWEEN costume I’ve convinced myself I have to make.
I was so close…so very close…my little daughter will be with her Dad this Halloween. I am taking the BIGS to a football game—their school against my nephews school—out of town. Halloween wasn’t even on my radar. Halloween was going to be a non-event for me this year. No hot glue, no sequins, no plastic flowers and not a single piece of ribbon would be part of my Friday night. NADA. I pretended it was a relief. And it was. Until….
I freaking hate pintrest. I had accepted that Halloween wasn’t mine to stress over this year. I had. I had made peace with the fact that my little one would be in a costume that I didn’t make. I had. The peace lasted until late one sleepless night when I made the mistake of opening Pintrest. And there…there on the screen…was an adorable HANDMADE costume. I closed the app like a 13-year old boy caught sneaking a peek at a girlie magazine….but it was too late. The damage had been done. I had seen it. There was no taking it back. Denial is a strong emotion. Insanity is stronger. Visions of tulle and hot glue began dancing in my head.
Just like the dreaded 7th grade science project, the worst part of HOMEMADE HALLOWEEN is deciding what to do. Luckily there is pintrest. See, I don’t even come up with my own ideas. I see something I like and I re-create. I am a creative fraud. I am a re-creator and that isn’t the same thing. But I digress….I stalked, um….scoured…pintrest. It had to be something I could totally do on my own. In years past I’ve come up with ideas but needed help executing some part of it. I didn’t have that this year. It had to be stinking adorable…I have a rep to protect after all. The memory of the comment, “We can’t wait to see what she is from year to year” rang in my head as I scrolled and scrolled and scrolled through costume ideas. And, for the record, I am warped but there are some seriously obsessed people with wwwwaaaayyyyy tooooooooooo much time on their hands. Seeing some of the extravagant costumes I gave myself a list of rules.
• It has to be cute.
• It could NOT involve power tools.
• It had to be something her Dad could execute.
• It had to be manageable in case she got to wear it to school.
• It had to be cheap.
• It could not be elaborate.
• I had to be able to do it in a few hours here and there.
With those in mind I kept up the search. I’d have moments of clarity—mostly when I realized I had no clean underwear or towels—when I asked myself when exactly I planned to do this silly, silly task. Those moments were short lived. I am a re-creator…I can’t be bothered with logistics like time or necessity. Not me.
My sleepless nights quit being filled of ‘woe is me’ or sad thoughts and instead were filled with ideas of how exactly to make her into a box of cutie oranges while still allowing her to go to the bathroom.; or, how to get that yarn to stick to her tights when I made her look like spaghetti and meatballs. At 3am following my self-imposed list of rules didn’t happen. Luckily, in the light of day and after LOTS of coffee I remembered the ‘rules’ and went back to concocting ideas that were much saner—like the tulle penguin or the cupcake. Although with orange balloons and a large printer I could have pulled off the Orange Cutie costume.
And there it is…my admission that I have crossed back over into the dark side of HOMEMADE HALLOWEEN. I would write more but I am off to tackle the growing list of supplies needed to pull of this year’s debacle. Stay tuned.