All I know about rickets is that it happened a lot on ships (pirate in my mind) and that it is caused by a lack of fruit and vegetables. Think it makes your bow-legged? Suffice it to say I don’t know much.

I am convinced that my floundering little family is at risk for rickets. We are on the road at various events 4 days a week. They at all at their dad’s the other weekday. We are all eating cheap and fast and conveniently. Vegetables aren’t cheap or convenient. And no one likes them. And I don’t know how to cook them. Ergo we don’t eat them. (Like how I use of the word ergo as if it is going to erase how idiotic i am? )

My idea of a well balanced meal usually included opening a can of Mandarin oranges on $5 pizza night. With our schedules I haven’t been able to even do that. I rush to watch my 4year old NOT PLAY her Tuesday tee ball game. Leave her mid game (still NOT PLAYING) to rush her brother to the other side of town to diving lesson. Leave there and go all the way back to where I was to make the big girls 7:30 game. If I am good I am able to pick up the pizza pre-non-playing-tee-ball-game-time. That doesn’t happen a lot. If I am smart I leave early from
watching my daughter stubbornly sitting in the bench to get the pizza pre-diving. No ones ever accused me if being smart so that doesn’t happen a lot either. Plus, I gotta believe one day she WILL play and as soon as I leave she will step up to the tee.

When I do give up all my false hopes and leave the tee ball to get the $5 pizza it gives man child 15 minutes to wolf down his pieces before diving. Now that he’s learning flips he’s less inclined to eat pre-practice so it’s getting to be a waste of time to hustle there before making the trek to the UGA Natatorium. Plus he is actually doing his sport so I tend to get waylaid by the site is 15 kids at various heights all flipping, twisting , turning and catapulting into the water. It’s amazing to watch kids stand 5 stories above the water, step to the edge of a platform where they get into a handstand before twisting or flipping 4 times to the blue water below.

Seriously, I barely leave the Natatorium In time to get back to the other side of town to watch the 1 1/2 hour softball game. And now that man child is DRIVING I am not able to scooter poor from one place to the other as quickly (recklessly) as I once did. Ergo it’s typically 9:30 before we even get dinner. No one is waiting for oranges at 9:30. They aren’t even waiting for plates!

Life calms down in late November. Softball is over. The embarrassment that is Tee ball will thankfully be over and all that’s left is swimming/diving. It will be back to dinner like normal people. With real food. At a table. With plates. I’ll be back to slaving away over a tricky can opener. If we can just make it a few more weeks without succumbing to rickets than we should be okay. Maybe.

Who am I kidding? Life may slow down but that won’t change the fact that I don’t know how to cook vegetables. I don’t know how to cook them and no one at my house knows how to eat them! Hope mandarin oranges are enough to keep the rickets at bay. If you see is walking around like this feel free to administer a dose of green beans.



2 thoughts on “Rickets

  1. Cracking up laughing Libby!! Thank you for being so REAL and for letting me know that I am not alone w the veggie war! And we loooove mandarin oranges too!! Lol

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