How do I teach my children “it’s enough, you are enough” when the world always wants more?
In my day the pinnacle of youth sports was starting for your high school alma mater. Now with travel teams, elite blah-blah, year round, etc. The high school athlete is 2nd tier.
I watched tonight as my fella worked hard to nail a dive. He’s been taking lessons for 2 1/2 months. He’s okay. He dives beside year rounders. They are great. No matter how hard he works he won’t beat them. He’s started too late. At 15 he’s too behind to catch up. I watch the swimmers to my right and the divers in front of me and I am overcome with guilt. We couldn’t/didn’t do year-round, all season and I feel like I didn’t do enough. Crazy?
Points in a high school match to help his team win is enough. We won’t ever be junior national champs or earn a spot on…I don’t even know what the next level is called. And it’s okay…right?
So how can I teach them they are enough when I am struggling because I don’t feel like I did enough? The old “do as I say, not as I do” line echoes in my head.
As parents we do all we can do to pave a path for them. We love them, protect them and provide for their needs and for as much of their wants as we can. And that is enough…right?
His being a contributing member of a high school team is enough. He is enough. I have to teach him that. I have to. I have to teach them all that. If they work hard, are coachable and are good sports who always give 100% then that is enough.
At last weeks swim meet my fella finished his heat in first. By quite a bit. Others finished and got out of the pool. My fella stayed. He stayed until the last swimmer finished. And when that swimmer touched the wall he reached out a had to congratulate him on a good swim. Out of 8 lanes they were the only 2 still in the pool. That’s good sportsmanship. And that—that single act IS enough.
So I’ll keep trying to teach the lesson: it’s enough…you are enough and maybe as I am teaching it I will start to believe it for myself as well.