Happy heavy

I have a happy heavy heart right now.

Happy because my son in his freshman year is part of the Northeast Georgia regional championship swim team. BOOYAH.

Happy because my novice diver scored a 7-7-6.5 on a dive tonight. His highest score to date. And it was pppppprrrreetttyyyyyy’

Happy because I have great swim parent friends.

And last but not least….I am happy, happy because Colton semi met his goal tonight. His scored a state qualifying time. He did it. It wasn’t in his stroke. The qualifying time wasn’t an individual qualifying time. His relay team swam 1:39:13 in a race with the state time was 1:40.

Happy because in the backstroke he did place 7th out of more than 24 swimmers and scored points for his team.

My heart is heavy because his is. He wanted more from himself-his exact words tonight. He thought he could do it. He believed he could and he’s disappointed in himself that he didn’t. Logically he knows it was a good season. Logically he knows that 3 seconds is a lot. He admitted tonight that before each race he looked over and saw the “tall big boys” (again his words) and knew he wasn’t going to “win”. The last swimmer in the fastest heat. Do you celebrate being in the fastest heat or do your dwell on being the one of the last to finish? That was my question to him. It’s his question to answer. My happy heavy heart has a confession. I am sad he’s sad but I am happy to see him push himself. Happy to see his drive and ambition.

For reference-my guy is in the middle in tippy toes. He swims against to boys towering above him.

For reference-my guy is in the middle in tippy toes. He swims against to boys towering above him.

My heart was heavy because though he swam a state qualifying time it’s in a B relay. Only one relay team per event goes to state. Our A relay is faster. Tonight he said,”I would like to go with them mom (to state). I’d like to go cheer on the guys that made it. Team support ya know.” Win. Score. He wanted something for himself but not getting it didn’t stop him from being a supportive team mate.

And certainly last and least I have one more confession. My happy heart is heavy because my little guy didn’t want a good dinner out, he didn’t want my hoorah…he wanted his best dude (aka cheese fry) over so they could walk to a friends house for movies and hanging out. This is so pathetic to admit-that made me a touch sad. I am happy he’s got buddies-I am. But…here is the confession…I miss the day when he wanted to hang with his biggest fan-me.

Tonight my freshman son and his teammates won the northeast georgia regional championship. They won handily. They were mighty. They were titans.

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