A REAL Declaration

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DEAR BEST MOM IN THE WORLD-

You have NO idea how much I LOVE you! Even though sometimes you get on my nerves, I still love you to death. I love your laugh, it’s really contagious. I love your confidence because it took a lot of braveness to build that up. There are so many more things that it won’t be able to fit this card!

5 sentences written in pencil on a card illustrated with mustaches.

First of all, she made it. Maybe all my year’s of handcrafted valentines have not been for naught. I love that she thought of me, that she took the time to do it and that it is 100% her.

Even though sometimes you get on my nerves, I still love you to death.

100% authentic. That’s my girl. She’s sweet enough to make me a valentine but brutally honest enough to be sure it says EXACTLY what she wants it to say. My girl stating facts…it just is what it is.

I love your laugh, it’s really contagious

I am happier then I should be about this sentence. I don’t feel like I’ve spent much time laughing lately. It makes me feel good to know that when my girl thinks of me she remembers me laughing. I need to remember to do it more. I want her to have this kind of memory. I am also in love with the fact that she uses the work contagious in her valentines. It tells me she thought about what she wanted to say…she didn’t recycle words…she used the words she wanted. I don’t know that the word contagious has ever been used in a declaration of love in the entire history of the day. Leave it to my girl to make it work.

I love your confidence because it took a lot of braveness to build that up.

This one took me by surprise. If you know me, you know that confidence isn’t a strength of mine. It’s not even really a TRAIT I possess. But then I saw ‘braveness’ and my breath caught in my chest. If I could chose anything that Is what I want my daughter to think of when she thinks of me. Brave. I want to her to think of that word because I want her to go through life brazen and bold and confident. I didn’t think I was teaching her to do that but maybe I am. Maybe she sees something I don’t?

I’ve recently spent many a sleepless night wondering what my children will remember about me.

Our days are filled with rushing around, frantic schedules and cries of “we are late!” I worry that someday that’s all they would remember…me rushing around stressed out, 10 minutes late picking one up and 5 minutes late getting the next one where they needed to be. I wanted them to see that I was a hardworking mom who did her best, even when it wasn’t enough, to be everything they needed. Realistically I expected them to have fond memories of me as a slightly frantic, non-morning person who did her best to get everyone where they needed to be as close to when they needed to be there as humanly possible.

Would they remember our adventures? I’ve thought about our Christmas adventure…will they remember driving across states with me to go somewhere they’ve never been or will they remember it as the year they didn’t get SANTA presents? Having my daughter call me brave gave me hope that she remembers it as I intended. I wasn’t brave nor was I confident about driving 10+ hours, maneuvering city traffic and entertaining my BIGS by myself. I was a little nervous-truth-be-told. But maybe I fooled her and she saw me as brave and adventurous and heard me laughing again?

Our nights consist of a hastily thrown together dinner, haphazard chores and settling in for TV. Will they remember the fish sticks, tater tots, white bread and the always present mandarin oranges or will they remember eating at the table talking about ‘best part of the day’? I was worried they would remember that I can’t cook but this funny little valentine made me think maybe the lack of quality cuisine is not what matters most about our family dinners.

As an experienced divorcee -Valentine’s day is a day that most people expect me to loathe. I don’t. Valentine’s day…for me…isn’t a reminder about the love I don’t have. It’s a reminder about the love that I do have. The love I’ve built, the love I’ve taught and the REAL love I get in return in a thousand little-unexpected ways. Like this valentine.

Real love is about honesty. I’ve learned that the hard way this year. Her valentine makes me feel a million times more loved than any hallmark card ever could.

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2 thoughts on “A REAL Declaration

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