the wheels are off the bus

I actually said,”Take this. It’s got oatmeal so it’s sort of like breakfast,” to my 5 year old this morning when she reminded me she hadn’t had breakfast. I then physically handed her a Baggie of semi-crushed oatmeal cookies. 
This was AFTER she and I scoured the house for a set of shoes. One wasn’t an issue. One that matched another was proving to me a challenge. 
This was after I had found 2…count them…2 totes full of clothes stuffed in the back of my daughters closet. 2. Dirty, clean–all mixed together like vegetable soup made with leftovers. Hey-at least I figured out where my dish towels were. I was done to 1. Too bad there wasn’t a shoe in there. 
Of course this was after I’d changes clothes for the 3rd time because the professional dress I’d planned to wear no longer fits. 
This was after I’d dressed my kindergartener who offered all the assistant of a wet noodle. Have you ever tried to change panties 60 pound wet noodle? Literally 60 pounds of limp, uncooperative mushiness. It’s as glamorous as it sounds I promise you. Luckily I’d saved my bath for after the dressing Olympics because I’d worked up a sweaty stank by the time she was dressed-sans shoes of course. Once dressed she flipped on her side, stuck her thumb in her mouth and said,”5 minutes mama…I need 5 minutes in my own bed. Just 5 and ‘Dan bubba tarry me down for bread-fast. 5,” and she was out. O.u.t. 
I also literally instructed my laundry-hoarding-diva to perform a sniff test in a shirt she has to wear tomorrow. She didn’t call it fresh but her eyes didn’t water so I called it a go. This particular moment I am not so worried about. Thanks to hidden caches of dirty clothes on clean clothes she is now totally responsible for her own laundry. She  elected to to wash her softball jersey since oh-game 3-so hey—she’s on her own. Might take care of that distracting boy attention she’s been taking about. Because although her eyes didn’t water—much—I am fairly certain that jersey is rank. Enjoy that pep rally. Hope they don’t ask you to throw up those arms. Phew-wee
It’s all my fault if course. I was ill prepared. Okay. I was even more ill prepared than normal. No, I didn’t need to spend 2 hours tying 4 yards of tulle into a crappy version of a Tu-tu for Homemade Halloween 2015. I needed to be locating a matching set of shoes. I needed to have a grab-and-go breakfast ready. Those things I needed to do. Tying a tu-tu (which is a generous description of what I created) ehhhjh-not so much. 
It was a good run-while it lasted. Lunches packed every night by 7p. Clothes washed on Sunday and laid out for the week. Everyone up, and fed, by 7am and out the door by 7:15. That’s all over. The wheels have fallen off the bus. 


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