My Mini Me


the good, the bad and the ugly

My girl. 13.  You are my mini me (insert eye roll here) and we share more than our Hayes eyes or the color of our hair (the original color of my hair). We think alike. We act alike and we attack life alike. I hope you’ll learn some things that I learned the hard way. 

Please know, despite the bickering and the fights that I am exhorbinently proud of you. You amaze and delight me and I am thankful to be your mom. 

It’s a big birthday. There are things I want you to know:

  • You are so beautiful. I hope you’ll recognize that one day. 
  • I also hope you will realize that far more importantly than your outside beauty is how beautiful you are on the inside. 
  • There is a vulnerability that most people don’t get to see in you. It’s endearing and I am honored to know that part of you. Keep that part of your protected so you don’t lose it.
  • Zinging wit and sarcastic humor…wonder where you get that? Understand not everyone will “get” you and be okay with that fact.
  • I love that you have so many friends from so many parts of your life. Keep interesting friends around you always.   
  • It makes me proud when you stand ready to protect the underdog. You are strong and when you use that strength in a positive way it’s unstoppable. 
  • Foster that creative spark. You are meant to create things. 
  • Your personality will make you a leader or will brand you as a disruptor. Lead. 
  • Boys will like you. When they do remain steadfast in your beliefs and don’t settle for anything less than what you want. The right boy will love all there is to love about you. 
  • Don’t be intimidated by the “popular” ones. Ever. Ever. Ever. 
  • Your baby sister is learning how to be a lady, a friend and a helper from you. Make sure you always show her what you want her to know.  

    always looking up

  • Stay adventurous my love. 
  • Stay bold. Be bold in all you do.
  • She who speaks last doesn’t always win. 
  • You don’t have to fight for attention. The better attention comes when you aren’t fighting from it. 
  • Make yourself be tidier. 
  • Keep writing. Write even if no one is reading. 
  • I love your spunk. Most of the time.
  • In kindergarten they told me “…with Kinsley’s brutal honesty we’ve learned not to ask if we don’t really want to know”. Stay honest but learn when and how to use it. Honest is an admirable trait. Hurting someone’s feelings and then claiming you are just being honest isn’t the best use of that trait. Be careful. 
  •  It’s not what you say but how you say it that matters. Read that again. And again. Now one more time. 
  • I love your sweet manners in public. Keep using them. 
  • Be independent but learn it doesn’t make you weak to ask for help.  
  • Being a good sport is more important than winning. Keep your heart in the game. Keep believing that you can and I know you will. Never stop hustling. Remain coachable. Think TEAM over me. Always play for and as part of the team.  
  • It’s not easy and it takes practice but there is truth to the old adage-you attract more flies with honey than with vinegar. Learn what that means.
  • Stay out of drama. 
  • Your brother loves you. When you learn what honey vs vinegar means you will understand this better. 
  • You push me to being a better person and a better mom. I don’t always rise to the occasion and for that I am sorry. 
  • I love our girl time!  
  • Stay you. Don’t let this world or our circumstances change you. You are fierce and spunky and a force all your own. Please stay that way. 

13–you will feel grown but there is so much left for you to learn and do. Don’t rush growing up. Don’t miss anything these days ahead of you has to offer because you are looking ahead. Savor each day and make it your own. 

Happy day to you my sweet, feisty mini-me. 



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