Heartfelt gesture

In a week already determined to show me all the ways I am not enough I anxiously  approached “meet the teacher” with my 6 year old who has been telling me all summer that ‘she not doin’ dat 1st grade.’

When I got home early today she was all dolled up in a new dress and gold sequin shoes. Totally fine with the ensemble if it helped get her through the day. The closer we got to the school the more she shrank into herself. By the time I grabbed her hand to lead (pull) her inside she was a total wreck. Her hand was sweaty. She insisted on holding both my hand and her sisters. Her big eyes were huge and full of fear. She said nothing. No smile.

In the first grade hallway we were greeted by her favorite person-her kindergarten teacher. She had been asking about her all summer so I was sure the familiar face would help. It didn’t. Bouncing and positive her kindergartner teacher escorted us to the new first grade room. No reaction from Sadie who was buried against my thigh. Not even the news that her beloved paraprofessional from last year had moved up with my girl earned a smile.

We got to the door with its bright “sea” decor but Sadie locked down like a jack knifing 18 wheeler. She wouldn’t budge-even with her kindergarten teacher and parapet cajoling her into the room. I literally drug her inside. There are probably track marks in the hall. By now she wasn’t the only sweaty, panicky one. We were now both in a wad.

The first thing Ms. T said was “Look Sadie-look what I have hanging right by my desk,” she pointed and there-prominently displayed was the framed you are enough picture I had given her at the end of the year.

“And you have to come see my room!” Said her former teacher almost bouncing in excitement. Sadie refused. Sadie wouldn’t even make eye contact. “I loved it so much I painted it I my wall,” she said. Looking at me she said,”I cried when I got home and got settled. I didn’t say all that in my thank you note….”

This amazing, fabulous woman and her teaching partner had made my floundering girl feel like she was enough in what was the hardest year of her life. I got teary eyes just thinking about his extraordinary they had been in accepting and loving her. They never made her feel less than. They always made her feel like she was enough. The end of the year gift wasn’t expensive or flashy but it was heartfelt. And oh how my heart needed to know that my heartfelt gesture was felt by their hearts.

We all need someone in our corner telling is we are enough.  The world is full of people telling or showing is that best is it good enough. The voices in our heads remind us we should do more or be more. Sometimes in life the only thing you need is one person in your corner whispering you are enough.  I am so happy my girl had that last year. I am so happy I made someone happy by thanking them for being that person for my daughter.

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