The night before 

I never slept well the night before the first day of school. My first days are long gone but I won’t be sleeping much tonight because it’s my little ones night before her first day and she is sure not to sleep.

Even as I type this she’s upstairs whimpering,”I not ‘xcited ’bout tomorrow.” She’s in her bed. She’s been hugged and hugged again by her bubba. She’s had her bath and has freshly washed hair. We’ve face timed her daddy and her grandparents who all offered encouragement. 

She got to pick out her clothes. We played 2 games of Uno which she won fair and square. I’ve tucked her in and kissed  away all her bad dreams. I’ve talked of bravery and how I knew she would be great tomorrow. I’ve smiled and pretended excitement when she has none of her own. I’ve done all I can. The rest is up to her. 

After I tucked her in I finished packing her bookbag. Her “homework” was lying there. It was a bag where she had to pack 3 things that made her happy. 3 things that she wanted to tell her ‘friends’ about herself. My aching heart filled when I saw her treasures. She could chose anything she wanted as long as it fit in the bag. She had 3 pictures and 3 sentences. 

I love my front teeth

It was illustrated by a picture of her snuggle tooth grin. 

I love my whole family and gymnastics. 

A picture of me and my girls accompanied this sentence. 

I love my bubba when he snuggles with me.

A picture of her and her brother snuggled in the couch completed her bag of treasures. 

The sentences are a little wonky.  You can see where her attention was lost. There aren’t any spaces. It took her twice as long as it should have to complete. She even argued she shouldn’t have to do it since she wasn’t going. 

None of that matters. 

What matters is that her ‘homework’ shows what matters to her. She’s proud of her teeth which shows me she’s got some confidence that may help her tomorrow. She has her sister and I which I hope make her feel loved when she’s out of her element tomorrow. And she’s got her hero-her brother. Her loves her unconditionally and is her biggest fan. I hope that he gives her strength tomorrow. 

I don’t know that she will get out of the car tomorrow. I really don’t. I know I’ve prepared her as much as I can. I hope her homework proves her support structure is in place and that it will help her get through. 

what matters most



One thought on “The night before 

  1. Pingback: The night before  | likemymamasays

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