The slogan somedays you feel like a nut, somedays you don’t is playing in my head. Tonight is a nutty night. 

Baby girl-after throwing a class A tantrum- was in bed at 7:47.  It was still sunny and light when I marched her and her sparkly leotard up the stairs. At 7:45 she made her final mistake. At 7:46 we were wrestling with spandex (I won that battle) and at 7:47 I was back downstairs and she was in the bed with the lights OUT. In bed without a bed snack and in her undies after I used…and you can’t sleep in this leotard… as a form of punishment. The behind popping didn’t phase her much but the leotard been stripped off got her attention. Wowza. I am liable to be sore tomorrow. 

Her using a foul slang word to insult me rather loudly got the older 2’s attention. Ot certainly got mine. Other than asking “where did she hear that?” They haven’t said much…which is probably very, very wise. 

I am in my room. Hiding. And policing the phones. Not the best night to be cell phone police. In my stalking I found out that My fellas buddy asked fellas former girlfriend to hoco which totally violates the bro code. Took me about 10 minutes to get all the slang but I think I am straight now. No wonder fella is fuming.  I need a text translator app to make sense of all this stuff . And am emoji decoder ring. It’s like hydroflics of the modern age. I am guessing the red face smiley thing and the broken heart icon followed by a face with tears=Ouch. While I hate imagining my boy hurting intend to feel a little relieved. Little  chicky needs a hobby and my fella needs to move ON so maybe this will help. 

Errant pitch nailed my girl in the wrist. Her hurt wrist today at practice. Ice and ibuprofen are barely making a dent. I thought it was pain causing the frown until I got, as Harvey would say…the rest of the story…The girl had her name announced on the announcements at school today for her homerun. She was so excited she texted me at work to tell me all about it. She was so happy….Until tonight. Turns out her softball friends followed the announcement up with announcements of their own telling everyone it was a slow pitcher, a lucky roll and totally discounting my girls hit. It’s hurting her though she’s trying to be a good sport. AGH!!! I want to scream. Can’t we all just support each other instead of tearing each other down all the time??? 

I am failing at this whole mom thing tonight. The frozen green beans I made as an attempt to get a veggie in the lineup were almost raw and therefore nasty. We had to “eat around” due to the 4 loads of laundry awaiting folding piled on the kitchen table. While I am partially lazy these 4 loads are sitting there so I can find the orange culprit-or the clue one-that have made us look like UF fans thanks to the orange and blue marks on most every article of clothing in the bunch.  

I caved and let sassy pants have lemonade tonight since I got home late and was trying to rush dinner. She promptly dropped it so now my kitchen floor is so sticky it sounds like Velcro when you walk Across it. Even though I’ve mopped it. Did I mention it was carbonated, Italian syrup lemonade from the clearance aisle at marshalls?

The cupcakes went uneaten by the kids so guess who ate them? Yes. Multiple cupcakes. Weigh in outta be a blast tomorrow. 

Got no words of wisdom for the boy. Haven’t got a clue what to say to him.  I hugged him but didn’t say a word. 

Having to bite my tongue so as to NOT say anything to the girl because I want to say that anyone who can’t celebrate your successes isn’t a true friend anyway BUT it’s 8th grade and I get that it’s more complicated from her vantage point than mine so I will try to be quiet and let her navigate this on her own. (Although if this keeps up I might need to remember the slur that was hurled at me today by my 6 year old…yes my 6 year old…) it could come in handy. 

As for the 6 year old. Lord. Have. Mercy. It’s going to be a looooonnngggg year. 13 days in and I am already exhausted.  I don’t feel equipped to get her -or me-through the emotional roller coaster that is first grade for her. 

Monday won. Thank goodness tomorrow is Tuesday. Even if it’s not a better day at least it’s one day closer to Friday. That’s about all I can offer up. Tonight we all need to retreat to our corners, lick our wounds and rest up for another day. 


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