So I banned it. No snap chat. Period. Yep-laid down the law.
I check phones regularly. If it’s there it’s fair game. I will read and snoop and question Anything I see. I don’t understand half of the BRB or WTH or CYL or TMI. It’s like reading hyrogliphics but I do my best. Phones are turned in downstairs at 9:30–or earlier depending on my mood. Let me tell you policing smart phones is a full time job. Never thought I would miss colic but smartphones make me miss those good ‘ole days of endless crying. At least I had no misguided notions that I had control of the situation.
Let’s re-cap. I laid down the law. I make a very public show of snooping. I take away phones at night. I am good. I am controlling this…..yeah right.
Moms have no control.
My daughter spent Sunday at the lake with me, my parents, my parents friends and their very adorable grandson and his friend.
Imagine my suprise when I heard they’d exchanged snap chat “handles” (throw back to the old CB days). Not my girl I defended. After all I had laid down the law.
Only my daughter didn’t agree with “my law” so she added the app back. Being savvy she deleted the app before my “checks” and added back once per day to keep her streaks alive. My suprise blitzkreg of early evening spot checking busted her.
I am going to have an attorney in my family in about 10 years.
Girl can formulate and argument. She can defend her stance. She can sway an opinion of her peers. If she wasn’t wrong I would be impressed. She is wrong so I am not.
To add insult to injury she made me use try phrase I swore I would never use (pre-children vow) “because I said so” followed by the hated (again pre-children) “I am the mom that’s why!”
Yes, I was reduced to using those phrases to drive home my point against the soon-to-be-trial-attorney teen daughter in my life. It went over as well as you might expect.
I got the last word (hallelujah) and the phone.
And today I needed to reach her to alter travel plans. I felt like the punished one. I meant to teach her a lesson but it backfired. Not that I’ll give in or back down. Not in my bones.
Tonight I still had the phone. It was just the two of us. In a rare moment of calm I took the time to lay out my position. My job is to protect her and forbidding snap chat was an attempt to do that. No, she has never betrayed my trust on her phone but I would police it to insure she didn’t. Any friend that she lost because she didn’t have an app wasn’t a real friend. Streaks (I don’t even know what those are) do not equal real relationships. My rules-my way. I make them, she obeys them and all is well. She doesn’t have to agree with them. She doesn’t have to like or understand them-she just has to obey them.
I went on to explain it was my job to protect her and that I would do my job even if she didn’t like me because of it. I explained that by making rules and setting boundaries I was protecting her. Not because of anything she had done but so she wouldn’t be in a position to do anything she would regret. Snap chat may seem innocent because of how she was using it now but it falsely lulled users into thinking posts and pictures were temporary when nothing on the Internet is temporary.
She didn’t agree. She didn’t like it but miracles of miracles she listened. One small step for this mom, one giant leap for our relationship.
Bring back colic and sippy cups…