It’s been a long, stressful week-and it’s not over. Monday I worked until 9:30. Tuesday-I can’t even talk about Tuesday yet. That’s another blog for another day. Asmidst chaos and the acknowledgment that nothing would ever be the same I worked until 10:30. Wednesday I managed-barely-to make the game. Thursday I managed-barely-to make the after school pick up dealine. Friday brings another deadline. The weekend seems to be the only time I’ll get to do my actual job. I say all that to say I am stressed out, worn out and heavy hearted.
And then the wifi went out.
I hadn’t spent any quality time with baby girl this week. In fact, is barely seen her. Two nights in a row she was tucked in by her sister-not me. So tonight she was allowed to snuggle in with me tonight. Truth be told I needed her there as much as she wanted to be there. As usual she’s got Her arm across my chest and her leg flung across mine. It’s a reminder that some things don’t change…even when a lot of things do.
Big girl had retreated to her room for her hour long shower and booty loads of homework. The same girl that, not long ago,went to her spring formal dance with cheeto powder all over her teeth no spends hours showering and washing; grooming and primping. Her room time grows exponentially the older she gets. Over the weekend I saw her for a grand total of 2 hours. So far this week I’d seen her for a grand total of less than an hour. I miss her.
Big boy is working. I wait up on him despite my heavy eyes and weary body. He’s putting in the so the least I can do is be awake and waiting when he stumbles in the door. The tv and my phone are the best of friends on these long nights.
So I’d assumed my normal position…tv on, phone in hand. Covers up to my chin and Netflix streaming. And then everything stopped. Screen went dark. Phone flashed “no network connection.” I didn’t move. I didn’t know what to do.
So, I plugged and unplugged the router. Nothing. I texted big girl…hey I couldn’t yell I had a baby in my bed…but she was already on her way down. Mid research paper her screen went dark as well. She too unplugged and replugged with the same results.
And…low and behold…a miracle occurred. She crawled in with me. (Okay-maybe the noise and the thud on the deck had a little something to do with that.) no wifi and a noise are my heros.
Soon she grabbed marshmallow cream and cookie butter and 2 spoons. Like girlfriends at a slumber party we are ate and giggled and played a game.
Giggles turned into serious conversation. I explained the stresses at work. She admitted to being scared about the changes. Calmly we talked about possibilities and how important it was to have a little faith right now. There, snuggled against my shoulder, my mini-me and I talked. It was comfortable and comforting. For her too I believe.
Tonight I learned about of her fears about high school. We talked about the choices she was going to have to make soon. We discussed the merits of softball, the attraction to cheerleading and her fears that she wasn’t good enough to be on the swim team. Academic choices and fear of upperclassmen were talked about as well.
And miracles never cease–she listened to me and I listened to her. Maybe because I wasn’t yelling or hurried. I wasn’t distracted or burdened. Regardless of the why it was perfect…my girls and I. Together. Snuggled up and content.
All because the wifi went out.
The wifi will be back on tomorrow. I’ll wake up, already tired, to a grumpy little one and a sleepy young man. We will all want one more hour but we won’t get one.Big girl will be back on diva mode. There will be more than one yelling of “we are late!”. Everntually they will all get to school. And eventually I will get to work. Uncertainty and tension will be waiting on me. They will stay with me until I dash out the door scurrying to make the basketball game. I’ll be late so little girl will be one of the last ones which means she will be PISSED. Hungry. Cranky and pissed. It won’t be an easy pedal-to-the-metal drive to the middle school.
We will make it there barely in time for halftime. But we will be there. Big girl will be understanding-which will make me feel worse. I’ll see her cheer. I’ll applaud her roundoff and marvel at her split.
Afterwards I will pack them up to go be taken care of by their grandparents so I can do what has to be done. I’ll miss a swim meet and I’ll miss my babies. But, for now, it is what has to be done.
Tomorrow will be back to reality. But tonight, oh tonight, the wifi went out.