Stepping out

Can you go out on faith when it involves a trip?  A vacation? Something personal?

It sounds selfish so I doubt it counts as a true walk of faith BUT it feels like kismet. 

My fella. My guy. My first. My buddy turns 18 in October. Eight. Teen. It’s a big one. It’s the last one as a child. I want it to be big, to feel big and to create a memory that will last forever.

My girl turns 15 in October. 15 is a hard one. It’s a restless year. A year of waiting. The year BEFORE you get the freedom of driving and dating and all the good parts of being a teen. But it’s still a milestone. 15 still needs to be celebrated. 


The past few weeks  I’ve watched people I’ve worked with walk away. After 17, 20, 30 years they leave with a box and a tear. After months…years…of putting work first that scared me. I don’t want to leave and have regrets. I don’t want to have postponed life until all my projects got done or all my emails were answered. I want both. I want to work hard and love what I do WHILE playing hard with the people I love. I want to work so I can play. I don’t want to resent one because it got in the way of the other. 

So I thought about a plan. A plan that felt extravagant and BIG. A celebration. For them. For me. For us.

And it all just fell into place. Piece by piece by piece. An idea. That’s all I had. An idea and a desire. 

In a random conversation about places we’d all love to go someday my fella gave an answer to a place that was possible. 

I got an email that my credit card limit was being raised. 

My daughter reminded me of the best experience she’s ever had. 

We could take our trip and be away on his day and hers. 

Swim season starts the week after the birthdays.

Every little detail just came easy. 

It felt like it was meant to be. So I keep moving forward. One step. The next and than one more. If, at any point in time, things fell apart we would just step back and punt. But nothing did. 

Well almost nothing. The only twinge in the plan was my fella worried that the day he left was the day his girl came into town. I knew it was love when he really had to weigh out the options. He struggled but came out deciding that he would sacrifice a few days with his love for an adventure. 

Man. That was close. 

It’s not logical. A single mom who just recently wasn’t certain she would have a job doesn’t really have business spontaneously planning a family trip. I should be frugal and careful. Put away, put up, keep back…that’s smarter. 

But I am going to not take the careful way. Not this time. I am going to trust and, on faith, do this. I am going to take advantage of circumstances that are making this possible. I am going to give me guy one of his bucket list items. And that feels awesome. 

I am going to spoil my girl. And that feels awesome. 

We are going on an adventure before he begins his own adventure next year.  We’ve all worked hard to get to this point. Together. So we are going to play. Together. 

And it’s requiring a little bit of faith but that feels good too. 

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